Sunday, August 17, 2008

I live in a bubble

Care to join me? :)

Yes, it's true, I live in a bubble. In my bubble, my kids are pretty much just like everyone else, with their unique personalities of course. They are all learning and progressing, and in my bubble that is all I see. Occasionally the "real world" manages to intrude on my bubble.

When we are around other kids it can sure be an eye-opener, I sometimes find myself caught off guard with how other kids act, how well they can talk, or things like that and I find myself thinking they are much older only to find out they're not. Sometimes I think I have offended people by complimenting their kids on things like that and they react with a rather huffy, "well of course he can (fill in the blank)." They just take it for granted and don't realize it doesn't come so easy for everyone.

Once when I was introduced to a co-worker's wife and son (who was 2 at the time), she told him "say hello to Ms. Danette" and he said hello but didn't say my name. She seemed annoyed so I tried to lighten things up with, "it's ok, it's a hard name to say." Her response was an indignant, "not for him it's not!" Ouch. My little then-2-yr-old (2 mos older than hers) couldn't say anything at all yet. I didn't have much else to add to that conversation.

Sometimes I get myself into trouble when we're interacting with the rest of the world, because I don't have a good sense for what other kids their age are capable of or will be like. Like when I signed up our 3-yr-old for gymnastics this summer, not realizing that all the other 3-yr-olds were perfectly capable of sitting still and paying attention for brief periods, and following directions. Who'da thought?? Oops.

As for my older boys, most of the time I don't even notice that they still have issues with their speech, other than their sometimes unusual choice of words and ways of describing things. I'm so used to hearing them, that when I hear other kids their age talk, the other kids are the ones who sound strangely adult to me. But for some reason, the other day listening to them in the car, it struck me. Cuddlebug still speaks with a slushy sound, and his L's are more often than not still pronouced as W's (Little Bitty would be "Wittle Bitty"). Bearhug still pronounces Jupiter as "Jutiper" and has some other unusual pronunciations like "re-ember" for "remember." Both of them still slur to the point of being difficult to understand when they are tired (in other words, it takes effort for them to speak clearly).

For the most part though, my bubble is pretty well insulated. In my world all I see is the continual progress my kids are making, and where they are now is night and day from where they used to be. I see what amazing people they are, and all the cool things they can do (which btw, they can do a lot of things that their NT peers can't). I see how precious and innocent their spirits are. I see three little boys that make the world a better place just by being a part of it. I wouldn't trade our bubble for anything :).


Anonymous said...

I live in the bubble too! When I watch my friends' kids, I ask, "Do your kids run off? or will they stay with me?" and they don't get it..."why would they run off?" ha, ha!

MaricrisG on August 17, 2008 at 11:04 PM said...

I envy you for having boys.I'm still wishing someday, I'll have a baby boy. I have a 4 yo daughter that I adore so much and like you, I try all my might to insulate her from the crap of the outside world! Bubble is good, as long as it's not easily broken! :)

Floortime Lite Mama on August 18, 2008 at 8:08 AM said...

I am so totally there with you !!
Everything you wrote in this post resonated with me
How one is constantly schocked by NT's and how grown up they sound, while at the same time remaining quite in awe of our kids
if I could just define the autism we have in a few words I would say
"cognitively-advanced, socially-( VERY ) delayed "

Jenny on August 19, 2008 at 10:37 AM said...

I so totally relate to this post! My bubble has been somewhat burst (in a good way) over the past year, though, by having my daughter (neurotypical). My husband and I are constantly looking at each other saying, "She can do that already?" or "Did you teach her that?" It's been so sweet to see things come so easily for her, but also difficult to see Jackson still struggling with the same skills.

Of course, occasionally the bubble is really burst when we're around other children his own age, and we see the dramatic differences.

But, mostly, we live quite contentedly in our little bubble, where Jackson is making wonderful progress!

danette on August 20, 2008 at 6:18 AM said...

Thanks for your comments, it's nice to hear that others can relate :)

@Rene - yep, our guys were runners too, they're a little better now but we still have to be pretty vigilant w/ that.

Elizabeth Channel on August 23, 2008 at 12:38 AM said...

I love this concept of the bubble and how you embrace the bubble. I need to be more thankful for the bubble. Thanks for the reminder.

Anonymous said...

I can completely relate! Very well written! I loved your last paragraph and I could say the same exact thing about Daniel!

Have a great day!


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I'm a mom of three boys on the autism spectrum, 11-yr-old identical twins and a 7-yr-old. My husband is a SAHD.


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