Things my children will NEVER hear me say

I saw this on some other blogs and thought it was a cute idea.
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Things my children will NEVER hear me say:

1. You're not tired? Why didn't you say so? In that case, feel free to stay up as late as you want. School night, schmool night.

2. I can hear you best when you're both talking at the same time. Better yet, wait until your little brother is screaming, and then both of you talk to me at the same time.

3. When you hear me tell one of your brothers not to do something, rest assured that it does NOT apply to you. You go right ahead and do the same thing immediately after I tell your brother not to.

4. Poptarts for dinner? Great idea! Let's have some milkshakes with that.

5. The worst part about Saturday morning is that my alarm doesn't go off. I'm glad you make sure to wake me up early on Saturdays, I'd hate to actually sleep in.

6. When I say "clean your room," what I mean is "move all the toys that are on your floor into your brother's room and dump them onto his floor."

7. You know what this house needs more of? Toy trains.

8. My furniture is your jungle gym.

9. The decorative value of scotch tape is highly underrated.

10. Our kitchen is your restaurant. We'll cook whatever you ask for, and you don't even have to eat it once it's done.

11. Thanks for not putting your dirty underwear in the laundry basket. It's much more fun to play hide-and-seek and see if we can find it tossed in random places all over the house.

12. Do you want me to grab some buckets so you can get more water out of the tub and onto the floor? That will be faster than just splashing it all out.

13. Make sure you change clothes at least twice a day, if not more. We want to make sure we're getting our money's worth out of the washer and dryer.

14. If your brother won't listen to you, or has the nerve to disagree with you, it's ok to drag him to the floor for a wrestling match until he sees the light.

15. I'm sure the cat would love to play "horsie" with you. Giddyup!





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