Wednesday, January 26, 2011


(Bearhug in blue, Cuddlebug in red, 23 months old)

When Cuddlebug and Bearhug were born, we rarely dressed them alike. We had a lot of coordinating outfits but the only actual matching outfits we had were gifts. Well, until around age 5 when I started getting all three boys matching outfits for pictures :).

I have to confess - now that they're too old for us to dress them I sometimes wish we had dressed them alike when we had the chance because, well, it's really cute! :)

But the reason we didn't was because we wanted people to see them as unique individuals (and make it easier for others to tell them apart), and as they grew from babies to toddlers to preschoolers, we wanted them to see themselves as unique individuals and not feel like they always had to be just like each other. We figured if they chose to dress alike when they were old enough to choose for themselves, that would be great. And sometimes they do, but it seems to be more that they just happened to each pick the same color shirt that day more than actually trying to dress alike.

So recently I had an interesting conversation with Cuddlebug that made me glad we've tried to foster their individuality. I can't remember how we ended up on that topic, but Cuddlebug told me that sometimes people (at school) expect him and Bearhug to be EXACTLY the same and he doesn't like it.

CB: "I like what I like, and 'Bearhug' likes what he likes. And we're NOT the same."

me: "Of course you're not the same, you're each your own person. If you happen to like the same things, that's great, and if not, that's totally fine too."

(after all, I don't want them to feel like they have to always be different, either).

CB: "Yeah, because if we did things exactly the same, we wouldn't be able to live the happy lives we want to live."

(I love the way he phrases things, he repeated that one several times during the conversation).

Obviously I want each of them to be able to live the happy lives they want to live :). I thought it was great that he was thinking about such things, and that he has a strong sense of himself.

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I'm a mom of three boys on the autism spectrum, 11-yr-old identical twins and a 7-yr-old. My husband is a SAHD.


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