Friday, June 6, 2008

Seven years ago today... (part 3)

For the month of June, I decided to write a series of posts about my twins' first month of life to help raise awareness about prematurity and TTTS (twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome).

Seven years ago today, I woke up in the morning alone in my room. Dh spent most of his the day in the NICU with the boys. A nurse brought me a card with some polaroid pics of the boys. Because of the meds they had me on (due to pre-eclampsia) I had to stay in bed for 24 hrs after delivery, so I couldn't go see them yet. Finally, late that night, I was wheeled down to the NICU to see my babies for the first time since delivery.

They were beautiful, but they looked so small and fragile. It was hard to see them hooked up to so many machines and monitors. They both had respiratory distress. Bearhug was on a respirator at first; Cuddlebug could breathe but needed a small tube of oxygen underneath his nose. He was in an isolette. They were both under phototherapy lights due to jaundice (with the little shades that look like sunglasses). They were both on IV's, and at that point neither of them were stable enough to be held, which was really heartbreaking. I was able to hold BH's hand (really it was letting him hold my finger, his hands were so small) , and they let me open the little door in CB's isolette for a minute so I could do the same with him.

I left a CD in the NICU for the nurses to play for them, with music that I'd played while I was pg with them. I hoped that it would be familiar and relaxing for them.

To be continued...

To learn more about TTTS, see
For more info on prematurity, see


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I'm a mom of three boys on the autism spectrum, 11-yr-old identical twins and a 7-yr-old. My husband is a SAHD.


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