Sweetness

Little Bitty actually sleeps in his own bed these days (that was a several-years-long process) but he likes for me to stay with him until he falls asleep. On the rare days that I try to just tuck him in and not climb in next to him, he reminds me, "you wan' to sweep wif me." He's just too cute, and I know I'm going to miss this time when he's older (I already do with Cuddlebug and Bearhug) so I just go with it :).

Anyway, so tonight I was laying there next to him, waiting for him to go to sleep when he reached over and put his little arm around me, patted me on the back and said, "I wuv you."

Heart MELT!!!!

It is SOOO rare for him to say that out of the blue like that, every now and then he says it back when I tell him (which of course I tell him all the time, his response is usually a smile).

I hugged him and told him, "you are SO sweet!"

To which he responded, "I DO wook sweet!"

I couldn't help but laugh because it was so cute the way he said it (reminded me of when Bearhug used to respond to my telling him he was cute by saying, "I AM cute!" lol).

Not sure how to interpret my laugh, he asked me, "aww you jus' kidding?" (he asks that because we joke a lot at our house and he knows that laughter is a cue that someone is kidding).

"No, I'm not kidding. You ARE sweet."

He smiled and rolled over, snuggling in his blankies.

He's sleeping now, I definitely wanted to write this down right away because it's one of those happy moments that I want to always remember in detail :).

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Conversations with Bitty

Bitty asked me one evening as I took him upstairs to tuck him in for bed, "does me hab schoo tomowwow?"

I couldn't help but smile, his wording is too cute but it is also an indicator of just how far he's come with his speech and communication skills. You may notice that he didn't say, "do YOU hab schoo tomowwow?"

After a LOT of time and effort, he uses the pronoun "you" correctly most of the time now, meaning referring to the person he's speaking to and not to himself.

It didn't occur to me that there would be a "next step" of differentiating between I and me (is the English language complicated or what?!) until we started hearing sentences like the one I started this post with:

"Does me hab schoo tomowwow?"
"Iss me sick?" (he had to stay home from school a couple of days this week as he was running a fever, he's feeling better now).

Other times (usually at the beginning of a sentence now that I think of it) he does great:

"I don' WIKE DAT!" (we hear that one a lot, sigh)
"I not hungry"

However he decides to word things, I remain infinitely grateful that he is (mostly) willing and able to communicate with us. It means the world to have some insight into what he's thinking (even though sometimes he still leaves us guessing).

He often likes to ask questions that we think he already knows the answer to. Maybe he likes the reassurance of hearing the answers again, maybe he's just making conversation.

For example, he drives his brothers crazy asking things like "do you wike Pokemon?", "wha'ss you fay-brit cuh-wer? Iss wed you fay-brit cuh-wer?" or "do you wike Kirby-right-back-at-YA?" (a cartoon that apparently went off the air years ago but still lives on YouTube).

If he deems the answer "unacceptable" he can be very persistent (ie. when Cuddlebug tried to tell him he doesn't have a favorite color). That can lead to some funny conversations, like Cuddlebug making up random names for colors that don't exist because he refuses to just pick a color and Bitty refuses to stop asking until he gets a satisfactory answer.

Bitty still tends to ignore us at times, and it can take a LOT of effort and repetition to get any kind of response when we are trying to ask him something or initiate a conversation with him. Or (gasp!) trying to get him to do something.

But other times he will actually seek us out and I am loving these little interactions:

Bitty, to me: "Iss Kirby a pink ball?" (grinning)
me: "Yes, Kirby is a big pink ball."
Bitty: "Does Mom wike Kirby?"
me: "Of course I love Kirby, he's one of my favorite characters!"
Bitty smiles in response.
me: "Do YOU like Kirby?"
Bitty smiles even bigger, nodding his head emphatically with a huge grin. Priceless :)

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Spell-a-pa-looza

Yesterday both Bearhug and Cuddlebug handed me their spelling lists so we could work on them. Since they each seemed eager to have me quiz them, I opted to alternate having each of them spell every other word rather than go through the lists one at a time. So we got into a rhythm where I'd call out Cuddlebug's name and a word from his spelling list, he'd spell it and then I'd say Bearhug's name and one of his words, and so on. As we were going back and forth Bitty came up to me and interrupted (loudly and with a big grin on his face) "'Bitty'! Cow! C... O... W!!" So cute, he wanted to join in the spelling fun :).

As it turned out he wasn't satisfied with taking a turn every third time, so in order to keep him from shouting over his brothers I had to give him a turn every other time. Bearhug - Bitty - Cuddlebug - Bitty... lol. He was so excited about spelling his words, and you know what? He got most of them right (cow, dog, cat, pig, car, box, fox, and he was close on horse). :) Bearhug and Cuddlebug did great on their words as well, of course ;).





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Interpreting Bitty

Before Cuddlebug and Bearhug were diagnosed with autism, I had never heard of echolalia. Cuddlebug in particular had a habit of frequently repeating back the last thing we said, and except when it was obvious that his response didn't make sense, I just took it at face value as a response. (I learned the hard way that's not always a great idea, misinterpreting a response can lead to a meltdown!)

It wasn't until the pediatric neurologist evaluating the boys actually asked me if they answered yes/no questions that I realized they didn't. As a therapist later told me, it's easier to notice unusual behavior that is present than it is to notice "typical" behavior that is absent.

So after all these years I feel I understand echolalia a bit better, but I still struggle to interpret it sometimes. When Bitty repeats back something I just said, is he answering in the affirmative, or is he just repeating? Sometimes he'll repeat it back with a "no" in front of it and then I know he's answering in the negative.

Example:
Me: "Bitty, are you ready for a bath?"
Bitty: "No weh fo' baf!"

Me: "Whatcha doing?"
Bitty: "No wah-choo doo-in'" (translation: I'm too busy to talk to you right now, or something along those lines)

Other times it's not so obvious.

Me: "Would you like some cran?"
Bitty: "cwah"
(I pour him a cup of cranberry apple juice)
Bitty: "no cwah"
Me: "But you said you wanted cran"
Bitty: "you wah chwokka miwk?"
Me: "No... do YOU want chocolate milk?"
(a happy dance)
Bitty: "YYYESSS!"

He gets creative sometimes, repeating back questions I have asked him before, that he wants me to ask him again (like "you want chocolate milk?" or "you want your trains?" lol). I've noticed that when he's repeating, he can say all kinds of words, even sentences and entire dialogues. Like the Pledge of Allegiance. His words are clearer when he's repeating something too. His "spontaneous" speech is more often shorter (one word or a brief phrase) and harder to understand.

Sometimes there's a "delayed reaction" aspect too.

Friday, dh asked him what he did at school that day. He answered with the name of one of his teachers.

About 2-3 hours later, he was sitting with me on the couch with his drink and some trains. He pulled the cup from his mouth and said, to no one in particular, "house-keepee... bee-bags" (housekeeping, bean bags). Now, I'm pretty sure those are things they have / do at school (the "housekeeping" center at school was one of Cuddlebug's favorites at that age too), so I'm guessing that this was a delayed response to the question about what he did that day. Today he found a little bean bag in the toy box (long since forgotten) and was repeating what sounded like a game that they must have played at school with bean bags.

It's these repeated conversations that are starting to give us a greater glimpse into his days. It's almost like getting a tape-recording of a little snippet of his day, because he doesn't "narrate" it, he says it word for word as if he was back there again. His weekly class newsletter said they learned about boys vs. girls last week. I asked him, "are you a boy or a girl?" He answered, "a goowul" with a giggle. (he has a silly sense of humor). Then he started into what sounded like his teacher's instructions, "ith yo' a bowee, tushyo' fee'" (if you're a boy, touch your feet)... "ith yo' a goowul, tushyo' nose." He pretty much ignored me as he did this, not really engaging me so much as reliving what was apparently a fun activity :).

A year ago, his words were few and far between. That was about the time he finally started saying words here and there, before that time he was pretty much non-verbal. It was about a year ago that he finally said "mama" again after he stopped saying it when he regressed. Nine months ago, the only answer he gave to the question of what he did at school was the word "skoo-bus" even though he's never ridden the bus so I can only guess it was just something he associated with school.

He's come a long way in the past months and year. He's talking so much more now, and yet so much of what's going on in his mind remains a mystery. For example, I have no idea why he says, "May-bis" (Mavis, one of his trains) whenever he sees me heading to work or coming home from work. Is it an association because "Mama" and "Mavis" both start with the same letter? So does "Molly" but he never says that when he sees me? Does he think I look like Mavis? Gee, I hope not ;).

As K said recently, it's hard to really know what he knows and what he doesn't. He surprises us often, and I have no doubt that more surprises are in store :).





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Four-giveness

A few weeks ago (the week that Bitty did great in church), his class learned about forgiveness. At the end of the lesson, his teacher had each of the children practice saying the word to help them remember what they had learned about.

She broke it down since it's kind of a big word:

"For-"

"-giveness"

The next week, I wondered if he still remembered so I asked him what he learned last week. He needed a little prompting but then he repeated back:

"for-gibness"

"Good job!" I told him.

Then, with a smile, he continued on:

"Fie-gibness... sih-gibness... sebuh-gibness..."

"Nie-gibness..."

"Elebuh-gibness..."

I couldn't help but laugh, he was counting. I guess it makes sense, if you're thinking the "for" at the beginning is actually a "four," lol. I wonder if he's expecting a follow-up lesson on "twelve-giveness"?





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Full of surprises!

So Sunday we had a rough day at church. Without going into all the gory details, it involved one major meltdown, a couple of smaller ones, a lot of over-stimulation, and a certain little boy almost getting stepped on a couple of times while rolling on the floor.

We also learned that while the seat-belt clip does in fact keep Bitty from unhooking his seat belt while driving, it does nothing to prevent him from squirming his way out of the seat belt altogether. Sigh. We had to pull over so I could jump into the back to keep him in his seat. Oh, and I'm really, really, thankful for child safety locks on car doors.

Anyway, on a brighter note, we had a few minutes at the beginning of primary where Bitty was actually sitting in his chair and semi-paying attention. Every week they have one of the kids read a scripture and then everyone repeats it along with them.

Well, Bitty heard everyone saying the words together so he tried to join in, only I noticed he wasn’t saying the same words. I listened closely and heard "Ameh-ca... un nay-shuh... iddizibul..."

I thought to myself, is that what I think it is?

I listened some more... "justih fo’ aww"

Sure enough, he was saying the Pledge of Allegiance. :) I don’t think anyone else caught it, but I was beaming – he was doing his best to participate and wow, he actually knows the entire Pledge of Allegiance!

I got him to say it again at home for dh and I took a video. He pronounces things in his own way, but I think he's got some pretty good approximations for some of those big words, no? Here it is:









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