Everyday Adventures: The graduate

Monday, June 14, 2010

The graduate

6/14/2010 Posted by danette
Labels: autism, school, special needs

A few weeks ago, as the school year was winding to a close, I kept feeling like something was missing.

It wasn't until a friend of mine mentioned her daughter's pre-k graduation that I realized what it was.

Next year, Bitty will go on to Kindergarten with his 5-yr-old peers (with resource support, but he will be in a class with his same-age NT peers for the first time). However, since he was not in an actual pre-k class this year (he was in a class that combined 3-yr-old NT children and 3-4 yr old children with special needs), he didn't have a pre-k graduation.

You would think a small detail like that would be no big deal, but for reasons unknown I was really bummed about it. Then at the end of the year he brought home in his backpack what looked like a little "diploma," rolled up and tied. I got all excited thinking they must have gone ahead and given the 4-yr-olds in the class who were moving on to Kindergarten a "graduation" certificate.

Then I unrolled it and saw it was general certificate for doing a great job in school this year.

And I started crying.

I am such an idiot.

At least no one saw me. The boys were all in bed and dh was out in the garage.

I really don't know why it bothered me so much. Bitty wasn't at all disappointed, he wasn't expecting a pre-k graduation and would have probably been indifferent even if he'd had one. He did have a nice end-of-year party, and it was a cute certificate.

Maybe because I hadn't really thought about it and it caught me by surprise. Hopefully it's not just because I'm crazy ;).

It didn't last long... I carefully placed his certificate in the office with his artwork and other school papers. I am really proud of him, and "graduation" or no, he's going to have a great time in Kindergarten next year!

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Floortime Lite mama · 772 weeks ago

Many hugs !__We did not have one either :-(

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Julie · 772 weeks ago

awww! =) every once in awhile something just gets to us. It's okay!!! =)
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KDL · 772 weeks ago

My daughter just finished KG in a general ed classroom with extra supports. It was a challenging, but good year and we were thrilled that she met all grade standards (including the social ones!) by the end of the year. Friends on facebook have been posting grad pictures for everything from preschool through high school, and I _just_ realized that our EIP didn't "do" graduations. We don't have KG graduation either...so I guess unless they do one between elementary and middle school, or after middle school, our kid's first "graduation" will be from high school. I don't know why it bothers me either...after all, I never had any graduations before high school. However, I think one piece of it is that WE know how hard our kids work just to get through a day, and to have finished, and finished well ANY program it feels like we should make a big deal of it.
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Debbie · 772 weeks ago

We had a graduation for the teen and Peanut but Diva didn't get one, so I know what you mean. But you still know he graduated! I didn't realize Peanut and Bitty would be in Kindergarten at the same time. It's gonna be a fun year!
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MT2B 81p · 772 weeks ago

Totally understandable! I think that we as special needs mamas are a little more involved, more defensive, more of an advocate for our kids. At least, that is my opinion. And, he IS your baby. It would have been the last PreK graduation for you. I totally sympathize.

PS Did you get my email? You won the Peanut Therapy Ball!
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BQkimmy · 772 weeks ago

I get it. It's just one more thing that it seems like he should have gotten, but didn't. It never matters what it is, or how small and insignificant it may seem to someone else, when our kids are denied these things it gets to us.

Personally I think pre-k, elementary school, and middle (or jr high) "graduations" are just plain weird and I'm glad they don't do them here. But then, I am someone who refused to attend my own high school graduation because I knew it would be long and boring. LOL! So that is certainly not meant to say that these "graduations" shouldn't be important to you, just saying that I am odd like that. ;)