Showing posts with label social skills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label social skills. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Birthday party landmines

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Bitty was invited to a birthday party a couple of months ago. He's not a big fan of birthday parties even though I have taken him to a few (he gets a fair amount of invites for a guy who rarely talks about his classmates outside of school). This one was from a boy that he has known since preschool and is also on the spectrum, one of the few people he does talk about every now and then, and so I wanted to take him. I knew he'd have fun since it was a local indoor playground with lots of foam things to play on, etc.

He was anxious about the whole thing and refused to go until I stopped calling it a "birthday party" and started calling it a "pizza party" (not entirely inaccurate, considering the invitation specifically said there would be pizza). We started off on a good foot because as soon as he saw the birthday boy and his whole family were wearing Angry Birds t-shirts, he smiled and relaxed as he admired their shirts :).

Not long after that though, he went to play in the play area only to come running out SHRIEKING as if he'd seen a ghost in there. After I managed to calm him down, I went to see what had scared him so much and found the culprit.

(not the actual balloons, I was too busy comforting my little guy to take a picture at the time and didn't think to do it afterward)

Oh the horror. You couldn't see it from where I'd been standing because there was a little half-wall but when I got up close, I could see the floor inside was covered in these.

Covered.

Much scarier than any ghost could be, right? I mean, those things could POP at any moment and it's loud when they do. Even a lone balloon far away but still within visual range is cause for anxiety, so you can imagine the reaction to unexpectedly finding himself surrounded by several of them.

Seriously, considering my little guy's balloon issues, it is truly a miracle that he didn't INSIST on leaving right then and there. He actually managed to get back in control and go play in another (balloon-free) area. Oh yeah, I was a proud mama. :)

He kind of kept to himself, as he often does. Not in a shy way, rather in a "I'm going to do my thing and you're welcome to play alongside me, or not I really don't care" kind of way. He's generally not much for interactive play, although his brothers are tenacious enough to force it on him at times (when they're not too busy doing big kid stuff) :).


When it was time for pizza and cake it took me a few minutes to coax him away from the foam blocks so we were the last ones in. He found a spot at a table in the middle but then he saw the cake.

An Angry Birds cake.

He didn't care about any of the birthday goings-on, all he wanted was to play with the birds and the slingshot on that cake. He kept jumping out of his chair and running up to "look" at it. Finally, frustrated with his inability to look with his eyes and not his hands, I told him he could look at it from his chair (which was halfway across the room).

Without missing a beat, he ran over and started dragging his chair over to sit next to the cake.

Sigh. The boy is too smart for his own good. One of the dads at the party chuckled at his ingenuity, "you did say he could look from his chair." I was glad no one seemed too put out by Bitty's antics... but I was relieved when they finally blew out the candles and the mom discreetly put the cake toys out of sight. After that, Bitty was fine. He covered his ears when everyone sang the birthday song, but he enjoyed some pizza and cake and then joined the other kids to play some more before it was time to go.

When it was time to go, I slowly made my way to the exit to give him time to transition and it helped. After a few preliminary attempts, he broke away from the foam blocks (again) and went on his own to get his shoes and we headed out. I asked if he had fun and he said yes. It was worth it for that :).


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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

And they laughed

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Yesterday when I got home from work, dh and the boys were all outside. I went inside to change clothes intending to go back outside with the family, but I had barely gotten upstairs when a screaming Bitty came running inside looking for me.

"You got WET on it AAAHHHHHHH I don' wanna be WEEETTTT!!! And (Cuddlebug and Bearhug) iss shooting WET and you pants is being WET AAAHHHHH don't get WET on my red shirt and der WAFFING!!!! STOP WAFFING brudders!!!!"

He went on and on... apparently his brothers had gotten a hold of the water hose and sprayed him with it. And then laughed. Bitty was gritting his teeth and removing the offensive wet items as he told me what had happened. The indignant anger was palpable.

Of course my first reaction was to try to calm him down. I mean he was UPSET. He hates to be wet (bathtime has become a battleground again but that's another post). He especially hates to have his clothes wet.

My second reaction was that this is the first time I can ever remember him noticing that someone was laughing and being upset about it. Normally he'd be upset about the "wet" but oblivious about the laughing. That's a big leap in social awareness IMO. And I was impressed that he was able to tell me exactly what happened, and in pretty-darn-near complete sentences too. Go Bitty!

And then my heart stopped.

My sweet baby is no longer oblivious to things like someone laughing when he's upset. Not that it happens often (thank goodness) but being aware of it and knowing how to handle it are two different things :(.

I wonder if this came about because of what happened at school last week, in which he was the one laughing. He was apparently calling his friends names* at school (and if his response when we tried to talk to him about it at home was any indication, he thought he was HILARIOUS but clearly his friends did not). So maybe going through that experience and having to apologize for it is what taught him that laughing at someone is not nice. And therefore having someone laugh at him is unacceptable (as it should be).

When Bearhug and Cuddlebug came in, Bitty started chewing them out for both the "wet" and the "waffing." Maybe I shouldn't be so worried about him after all, he knows how to stick up for himself. He told his big brothers EXACTLY what he thought about the situation. I intervened before he could start another incident (because he gets physical when he's angry and they were grumpy about something else and not exactly in a mood to tolerate being chewed out by little brother), had them apologize and convinced him to let it go.

Peace restored. Whew.



* My best guess is that maybe since he gives our cat a new name every couple of weeks, he thought he could make up a new name for his friends too? He thinks he's funny stuff whenever he renames the cat, so it kind of seems like maybe that's what he was doing at school, but it's hard to know for sure.
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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Puppy face

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Took Little Bitty to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese on Saturday, and one of his favorite things to do there is to make pictures of himself. Well, sort of. He mostly likes to make pictures of the Thomas trains on his shirt (because of course he is always wearing a Thomas shirt when he's not in school). We have a ton of pictures that look like this:



So I was surprised when after a few of those, he brought me this one:



Sooo precious! When I told him I loved it, he said, "puppy!"

?

He ran off to play without elaborating, but later when he saw me looking at it, he volunteered more details:

"Iss juss wike da Baby-Einstein-Neighba'hoo-A'mals puppy!"

Ha! He's right. :) That's a pretty good impression of the puppy on the Baby Einstein Neighborhood Animals DVD:




(Yeah, he's totally obsessed with all things Baby Einstein at the moment.)
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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Negotiations

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Cuddlebug and Bearhug were arguing over which video game to play. I suggested they take turns and play one now and the other one after that.

CB: (sighs) Ok, we can do one race on Monster Trucks.

BH: ok, then we're only doing one race on Mario Kart.

CB: (bigger sigh) Okaaaay! We can do ten races on Monster Trucks.

BH: Ok!

CB: But I'm NOT gonna have FUN.

lol :)

Of course once they got started, he DID have fun ;).

And they even managed to switch back and forth between games without any further disputes.


Disagreements like this can dissolve into an all-out brawl in the blink of an eye around here, so I was *extremely* impressed that they both stayed calm, used their words, and found a compromise they could each live with. Yay!



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I'm a mom of three boys on the autism spectrum, 11-yr-old identical twins and a 7-yr-old. My husband is a SAHD.

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